Missing My Other Half
by eemmaatt33
Summary: AU Fred and Tonks survived the war. "He was everything to me. Everything! I can't just let him go. What's a pair, when one's missing?"


**Author's Note**: I do not own _Harry Potter_, all rights reserved to J. K. Rowling and Bloomsbury Publishing. This is a not for profit, fan told story written in conjunction with the Big/Lil' Sis Competition. Companion piece to maggalina's story, Missing My Other Half (Yes, I know we have matching titles).

This is set in an alternate universe where it was George who died, instead of Fred in the final battle. Tonks managed to survive as well.

Please remember to review. You'll make one author very happy!

* * *

Fred was quiet. Those who knew him, never thought it possible of the rambunctious Weasley twin. Without George, he didn't have anything to say. He sat back and silently watched the meeting around him. The Order of the Phoenix still held weekly get-togethers, discussing the process of rebuilding Wizarding Britain and capturing the rogue Death Eaters. Harry had lend them Grimmauld place, with a new Fidelius Charm erected.

Each member sat in their original place along the dining table. Except for Kingsley who sat at the head, replacing Dumbledore as the leader. Fred glanced at each wizard and witch, taking extra notice of the empty chairs scattered between them.

The right seat directly next to Kingsley was Moody, killed in the Battle of the Seven Harrys. Opposite that was Snape, slain on Voldemort's orders by his snake Nagini. Two empty chairs in the middle were Podmore, executed during his sentence in Azkaban, and Emmeline, murdered in the safety of her home. At the other head of the table was Sirius, struck down by his cousin in the Department of Mysteries.

Then across from him was Tonks, who was noticeably sitting next to an empty chair usually filled by her husband Lupin. Dead. They were all dead, murdered, killed, finished, or executed. It was all the same. One more body to bury. One more life cruelly taken from them. Fred couldn't help but avoid looking at the seat next to him. Empty. Always reserved for his twin. Even if that twin could never again occupy said chair.

"Well, that about wraps up this meeting," Kingsley finished speaking, "Anything else that we should be drawn attention to?" He asked the room.

A few nos were uttered, while the rest shook their heads.

"Then our meeting has officially ended. See you all next week. Same place; same time."

Kinsley stood up and headed towards the fireplace, the Ministry needed his attention. Fred stayed sitting, as others slowly rose and exited the room. His family came over and bid their goodbyes. Mrs Weasley again offered him a home cooked meal and a place to sleep if he wanted. Again he refused.

Soon it was just Tonks and him, who hadn't vacated her chair either. She looked as run down as he felt.

"So um," he began lamely.

"So," she looked up at him, the sadness apparent in her eyes.

"Where's Teddy?" He asked, unable to think of anything else.

"He's at home with my mother. She offered to look after him for today, so I could have a break," Tonks spoke down at the table.

"That's nice," Fred didn't know how to reply to that.

It was silent between the two. Tonks picked at her nails, while Fred drew his attention to the wooden table. He traced the outlines of burnt scorch marks, silently wondering if they should try conversing again.

"Do you want to go for a walk or something? I haven't been out of the house much. You know, with caring for Teddy and everything," Tonks spoke softly to the ground.

Her face was illuminated by the light pouring in from the window. Fred could tell she was tired. Her eyes were lined with dark bags and lacked a certain spark of mischief, which was uniquely Tonks. She had metamorphosed her hair into a dark brown that hung limp and lifeless over her shoulders. Fred missed the colourful pink she usually sported.

"Sure. I have Verity minding the shop," _and I don't want to be alone in my apartment_, thought Fred.

He was spending most of his time away from wizarding society. There were too many reminders of his twin. His apartment was hardly slept in anymore and Verity was constantly worried about her boss's disappearance acts. He practically had to be dragged into his family house when his parents wanted to see him. The memories would become too overwhelming then and he always came up with a weak excuse to leave early.

"I'll just grab my coat," Tonks said, interrupting Fred from his thoughts.

"Oh um, yeah. Me too."

Fred followed Tonks down the narrow hallway to the coatrack. He slipped his thick coat over his arms and buttoned up the front. The weather outside had a light breeze but this was considered nice for Britain. Tonks wrapped a silky red scarf around her neck and readjusted her coat. She glanced at Fred and silently gestured for him to follow her outside.

Fred walked causally behind, turning around and casting a quick locking spell on the apartment door. He tucked his wand carefully back into his pants pocket. He noticed Tonks fiddling with her coat sleeve. Her wand was attached to a hidden wrist holster, ready for quick access. Moody would be proud.

The two stepped down onto the footpath below and crossed the empty street. Opposite the apartment was a small park. Trees covered the grounds and left a trail of broken light crisscrossing the pathway. It was silent between them, neither felt like conversing. After being nagged by his family for months to talk about his feelings, he was glad that at least one person understood the necessity of quiet.

Soon they had walked to the other side of the park. Fred wasn't familiar with the area and didn't particularly feel like wandering around the streets aimlessly.

"Let's sit down on that bench over there," Fred pointed to a solitary wooden bench, sitting under the shade of a large tree.

"Okay," Tonks agreed.

The wood was slightly damp from the morning's shower but neither of them minded. Adjacent to them was a small playground. Two children were laughing and playing on the equipment. The mother and father had set up a small picnic, with a large checked rug spread over the grass and a blue hamper of food in the corner.

The children, two little girls, constantly yelled over to their parents to watch them. One was swinging high on the swing set, whilst the other hung upside down on the monkey bars. The parents would wave every time, large smiles adoring their faces. Fred felt a pang in his heart.

Tonks had the same expression on her face as she watched the young couple converse on the picnic rug. The father stroked the mother's hair and whispered something into her ear, electing a giggle from the mother.

"It isn't fair," Tonks finally spoke, "How can they be so innocent in such a depressing time?"

"They're muggles. They obviously haven't been touched by our war," Fred secretly envied them.

"Look at them. Not a care in the world," Tonks became bitter, "She would never have to be a single parent. Never have to struggle to live day by day to support her family."

Tears started welling up in her eyes.

"I'm stuck in this house with my infant son and my grieving mother. I just want help. I just want Remus back," she started crying, "Is that too much to ask? To have my husband back. He wasn't meant to die. We were supposed to be a family and raise Teddy together. I-I just want…"

Fred couldn't bear watching her sob. Every tear seemed to penetrate his heart. It hurt. Hurt watching someone so strong and so independent break down in front of him. He could hardly keep himself together. Everything she said, rang so true.

Where was the fairness in any of this? They may have won the war but at what cost? Too many lives were lost. Too many families broken and shattered beyond repair. The scars were fresh, the wounds easily tearing open. He couldn't do this. He couldn't pretend any more. It was too much. It hurt, hurt too much to ignore anymore.

He broke. After four months, he finally broke.

* * *

_The loud blast of the explosion shook everything around him. Panicked voices were screaming, whilst others tried to recover those buried under the rubble of the castle walls. The battle still carried on around them. The Death Eaters took advantage of their distraction and started firing killing curses everywhere. _

_He didn't care though, at that moment he would have welcomed death to escape the pain that he felt. In his arms was George, eyes open and unseeing. Blood coated his head, as it dripped steadily onto the stone floor. The blast had claimed his twin's life._

* * *

"Oh God, George. George why?" He screamed, startling Tonks.

"He was my twin, my best friend, my other half. I can't live without him. I just can't. It's too hard," Fred cried, burying his face into his hands.

Tonks sniffled and hastily wiped away her tears.

"I'm sorry Fred. I-I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry," Tonks apologised, realising that Fred was going through the same heartbreak.

"He was everything to me. Everything! I can't just let him go. What's a pair, when one's missing?"

Tonks sat and watched as Fred cried. Cried for his twin and for the bond they had lost. It was a long time before either left the park and an even longer time before another word was uttered. Fred returned back to his apartment overhanging his store in Diagon Alley. He walked into his shared bedroom and laid down on his bed.

A strange calm had overtaken him, like he had cried out all his emotions. He felt better in a way. Releasing all the negative feelings he had kept bottled inside. For the first time since the death, he felt almost human again. Like a small part of himself had returned. That day, if anyone were to listen, they would have heard laughter. A laughter that was sad and angry but soothing, all at the same time.

Fred was finally healing.


End file.
